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Today I woke up to a conversation that “awoke” in me the grizzly bear instinct of protecting my children.

My daughter, came crying to us because of something a relative said to her. Basically, she called someone out that was leading a lie, a double-life. When this person retaliated, my daughter became hurt.

I told her not to let it get to her. This is something that everyone knows about this person, and God gave my daughter the guts to stand up to the demons at work. It really says a lot about her forming character.

Now the Mama Bear Grizzly side of the story:

I have a message for you, Mr. Relative:

You know who you are.

Seven years ago, I watched how my two young daughters saved their hard-earned Christmas money and bought you presents. Seven years ago you promised to come home for Christmas, but didn’t, and I watched my children’s disappointment turn into tears. Each year the same promise, and the same promise broken, until the year when you lied to me on the phone, said you’d be home,the next day and weren’t. After that, I never want to see your face again.

You play the victim and fish for sympathy in order to appear great in your own eyes. The only time you contact anyone up here is if you want money.

You can get pissed off all you want, I’m saying what everyone else up here knows to be true.

I don’t expect, nor do I want a reply to this. I’ve had the common courtesy (although WHY I don’t know) to leave names out of this. By replying to this thread, please understand, you could be misidentified, or identified correctly depending on who you are, as the person I’m calling out.

And please, don’t EVEN start with how I have “unforgiveness in my heart” toward you. If you look at salvation, Jesus only forgives those who REPENT and ask His forgiveness. If He forgave everyone for everything, then everyone would go to Heaven, and according to His Word, that is not the case!

Here’s the last thing I’m going to say on this subject: You screw with or hurt my kids again, you will have a Grizzly Mama to answer to!

btw~
The presents are still unopened, up on a shelf. I told the girls to open them up and use them, but they haven’t. I’m sure it brings up too many painful memories.

Food brings our  family together. My mom can make the best country comfort food you could ever want. And I have a few dishes that the family begs for, such as jambalaya, beef stew, stroganoff, and curry.

This weekend we received an unexpected visit from my daughter, who lives away at college.  Friday evening, I heard a voice say, “Hey, you need a haircut!” to which my husband replied, “Yes I do!”  I looked up and there was my beautiful daughter, Allyson, whom I thought I wouldn’t see for another three weeks! It was so good to see her, and she spent so much time with us (instead of her friends)! It was a great weekend.

Saturday we went shopping with her. We went to the grocery store and bought stuff for “KFC Bowls” to have for dinner at my daughter’s insistence.  Here’s our recipe for Homemade KFC Bowls:

  • homemade mashed potatoes
  • popcorn chicken
  • canned corn
  • gravy (chicken gravy or brown gravy, whichever you prefer)
  • grated cheddar cheese

Layer the above items in your bowl, begging with the potatoes, then the chicken, etc. in your bowl and pour brown gravy (or at my mom’s insistence, chicken gravy) over all.  Garnish it with the grated cheddar cheese.

This has always been one of our very favorite family meals, and it was the first time in a long time where I found my whole family (less my oldest daughter, who was at work) at the dining room table.

On Sunday, my mother made an awesome lunch of baked pork chops and stuffing. Wow, what a feast! Here’s Mom’s recipe for her yummy concoction:

  • 2-3 lbs of pork steak, or pork roast, your preference
  • 3 boxes of stuffing mix, your preference – make per directions on box
  • Extra-virgin Olive Oil
  • Sea Salt
  • Pepper
  • Sage

Sear the meat in EVOO and season with sea salt, pepper and sage. Then layer them in a well-oiled roasting pan with stuffing, then meat, and topped off with more stuffing.  Roast it at 350 degrees F for a half hour, then turn it down to 200 degrees F until ready to eat.

We also had corn and peas.

We called everyone to dinner, but strangely enough, only the women showed up. So, my mom, my two daughters, and I enjoyed this wonderful feast together. We mentioned several times the guys didn’t know what they were missing!

As soon as we were done eating, dessert came out of the oven. It was a simple box brownie mix, but we smelled it for a while, and we all had sweettooths after such a great meal.  So my mom frosted the brownies and cut them. My oldest daughter asked, “Do we have any ice cream?” and I answered, “Yes we do!” I got out the sundae bowls, and we layered ice cream, a hot brownie, and more ice cream. We all agreed it was one of the best desserts ever, as simple as it was.

And the thing that made it the most special is the love we share.

Today I learned about a different kind of unconditional love.

I’d heard in the past all you had to do to keep your man happy was, if he wasn’t horny, bring him a sandwich.

Sometimes my husband gets so involved in work, I wonder if he’s avoiding me, or if he is angry with me.  Neither is true, come to find out!  He works a full-time job and is in the process of developing his business.  And he is doing it for us!

Over the past 5 years or so, my health has gone downhill dramatically.  A number of different ailments have forced me to quit my job and file for disability.  This cut our income by 40%. We have four kids, two of whom are in college. Our home was foreclosed on, and student loans garnished my husband’s paychecks. It all hit at once.

The only thing that kept us from totally losing it was the Lord.  We have had such hard times in our marriage. But the Lord has been so faithful, always providing for all of our needs. Sometimes our needs aren’t what we think they are.

We ended up moving in with my mother when our hot water heater sprang a leak.

She actually has a great house, my mom.  She gave us the upstairs, which consists of three bedrooms, one nice-sized bathroom, and a living room which will have a mini-fridge and a place for our Bunn coffee maker and our Keurig.  The master bedroom is huge, allowing room for our king-size bed, my husband’s desk, and a dresser.  I spend most of my time with him since my bed is the most comfortable place for me to sit and write.

He asked me to write for this website. I wasn’t very enthusiastic at first. But after what he told me, that he was working so many long hours for us, I feel it’s the least I can do for him. It’s our plan to be able to get a simple, small place with a lot of land, and be as self-sufficient as possible.

Plan. It’s wonderful to have a plan, and actually move forward with them toward a goal. When your husband says, “We are going to do this,” support him. If you have any concerns about it, voice them at that time and get his feedback. After this, it’s too late to bring up your fears. If you do, you are giving him the impression you don’t consider him a true leader in your home, that you don’t trust him. And there’s nothing that will bruise his ego as the “man of the home” more quickly.

If you want some attention from your hard-working hubby, do something he would like to do. Put on something sexy and lay sexily on the bed. When he sees you, inform him of your sexual needs, and I guarantee, you will get his attention in both ways!

If he doesn’t notice you, or doesn’t respond in the way you hoped he would, don’t be angry! Remember, he’s working hard for YOU, and at that moment, his mind was still “at work.”

Trust me. As long as you keep your emotions in check and keep supporting him in every way, you will receive a reward in the future.  Remember, it’s not about you alone, it’s about you both.  You will have a stronger marriage because of it.

A woman needs to make her husband feel loved and appreciated. Are you going to rough time in your marriage right now? Or, are you bored? Maybe you need something to spice up the relationship. Let me share with you what I recently learned. 

How to: Sex After Marriage

How to Have Good Sex in MarriageMy husband and I wanted to spice up our sex life. I’ve been having "problems" in that area for quite a while. OK, when you get down to it, I have not been able to have an orgasm in a while. So we went to the sex shop to see what we could find to spice it up a bit. 

I had been to a sex shop in Europe many years ago. But it was very impersonal and just straight-up porn. This was different. What we couldn’t believe was that we had been married well over 20 years, and this was our first trip together to a sex shop. 

I was very embarrassed about some of the items they had for sale. However, I mustered all my courage and boldly picked up a display bottle of tasty liquid which was used to pleasure in as many ways as the mind can think of.

Instantly, a sales clerk appeared, asking me if she could help me? I asked if the liquid pleasure as as slick as Astro-Glide? She informed me it was better. After talking about it for a few minutes, I felt comfortable enough to tell her my real reason for being there. "I can’t have an orgasm," I blurted out.

My husband had left my side when the clerk showed up, and he was hiding over in the Halloween costumes that were on sale. Wow, great costumes at great prices! Anyway, the clerk led me to the new, high-tech vibrators they had. 

What amazed me was how knowledgeable the staff was, and how professional they were. I began to realize how uptight I was (we were?) about sex.  Instead of running in to the store hand-in-hand, we snuck in, afraid of who might see us.

Don’t Let Life Go By Having Bad Sex in Marriage

Ladies, here’s secret number one : in order to please your man, you have to be having a great time yourself. Don’t fake it; you will only lose out. Why wouldn’t you want to spend an afternoon rolling around under the covers with the man you love most? (I heard that on Dr Laura back in 2006 or so). 

"I can’t have an orgasm," I blurted out.

After purchasing some "necessities " we went out to the car to leave, anxious to try out our new "necessities". 

Upon leaving we discovered that the battery on the car was dead! Not only were we embarrassed going into the sex shop, imagine our horror at the thought of calling AAA for a jump start and explaining to the gal on the phone where we were located!

Thankfully, again, the sales clerk cam to our aid and in addition to all of the wonderful advice that she gave us in the store, she helped us jump start our car in the parking lot as well…

Keep in mind that you can shop online and avoid all embarrassment however the downside is you will not get to see any of the ‘toys’ in action or hear about the products from the clerks which are there to help. 

Gossip, depending on the person, can take many forms. Some may say that gossip is any form of communication that does not involve the subject in the communication. Others define gossip as un-verified womens-picture_54information being shared maliciously among third parties. Regardless of how it is defined, gossip is a serial killer of any relationship. Here are some short ways how gossip can destroy your relationship.

Gossip infects more than just one relationship

Gossip often spreads like a wildfire devouring everything in its path, and soon there’s just a smoldering ruin. It gets worse when one friend does it to another because you’ve invested your trust into your friends and you’d like to believe the best of them. Even though you wish to stand behind them and have their backs, and feel that you can tell them something without fear of hearing it from someone outside your circle of trust, once you do the relationship is fractured. Often times this fracture extends to several friends. The whispers spread through several people, and soon you feel that you can no longer trust not only the original Friend A, but no one else. Not to mention the fact that once your friends begin gossiping, they will gradually become trapped in a web of deceit and paranoia in their own lives.

Gossip kills trust and respect

womens-picture_02Gossip ruins relationships because it shows a lack of respect for the other person. Many people view their privacy as a valuable possession. When sharing personal information with a friend, we are revealing a part of ourselves to them to show that we trust them. When we betray that trust by speaking about the person behind their back we betray their trust and in a way, disrespect them through that. We are telling them that they are not important enough to us that we can keep their confidence. In a way, gossiping about a person tells that person that they are no more than a live entertainment for you. No more than a reality TV show.

It breeds doubt

Gossip is like a weed. It starts small and no one really pays it any attention at first. Then it gets bigger, and begins to silently strangle relationships. Not through you, but those vines (which are other people spreading the gossip or rumor you started) that start attacking your partner. Your partner is being attacked by this gossip, creating doubts. Some weeds like dandelions spread their white fluffy seeds with a little wind, that’s all. Your words are the wind, and those seeds will spread to multiple gardens, which create more dandelions, more rumors, more doubt, more distrust. Eventually those words will be planted in the mind of everyone you know, and then they will take over that garden of their thoughts, overtaking the plants that were there before with an overflowing amount of little doubts that become too much for any mind, or garden, to handle.

Drama is often associated with teenagers. They are going through a lot of physical and emotional changes, as they figure out how to become adults.  They tend to have a lot of issues with friends and relationships and become easily upset and have a tendency to over-dramatize disputes with friends and relationship breakups.   They are very sensitive and self-conscious about their appearances, overly concerned about fitting in with peers and actively distancing themselves from parents and other family members by demanding privacy and becoming defensive about friends and activities.  As a result of all of these behaviors, it can be hard to tell when your teen is just being normal or needs your help.  There are, however, some warning signs of what to look for as a signal that your teen needs help.  It is usually a combination of these signs that indicates that your teen could be in trouble.

Extreme Changes in Mood

womens-picture_18Teens are moody.  They are going through puberty and also separating from their parents.  They are going to be a bit distant at times and have hormonal imbalances that cause them to experience some mood swings.  Mood swings can become a cause for concern when they are too extreme and your teen suddenly goes from being very depressed and unable to get out of bed to extremely happy and manic or becomes extremely hostile and angry towards you and others.  These extreme mood shifts could be a sign of psychological issues or drug abuse.

New Set of Friends

A sign of trouble for your teen can be a sudden shift in friends or primary peer group.  If old friends are dumped in favor of a new but questionable set of friends who you are unfamiliar with, it could be a signal that something is off with your teen.  You know you have a real issue when these new friends cause your teen to adopt new behaviors and attitudes.  As teens are highly susceptible to peer pressure, it is important to know who your teen’s friends are and what they are involved in to limit and monitor negative influences.

Drastic Changes in School Performance

If your teen stops being consistent in grades and school performance, it could be a sign of trouble.   A formally good student who suddenly starts to get bad grades and becomes truant is a red flag that your teen is heading down a path that eventually will lead to juvenile delinquency and even a criminal record.  You need to know the reason why your teen starts to decline in academics.   Is your teen getting into drugs, having a problem meeting new requirements, having trouble adjusting to high school, getting bullied or just depressed?  It is important for teens to be involved in positive activities and motivated towards achieving goals.  When they are apathetic towards their school performance, it could be a sign that they need help with something that is troubling them and need inventions on your part to help them get back on the right track.womens-picture_52

Behavioral Changes

Once happy teens that become withdrawn and start to lie could be headed down a dangerous path.  If they start to sell many of their possessions or steal from you, they could be getting into drugs.  If they start to not find enjoyment in once pleasurable activities or have problems concentrating, they could have depression.  If you teen is overly suspicious of others or having extreme anxiety, he/she could have an underlying mental illness that needs to be addressed.

Due to the high rates of teen suicide and drug abuse, it is important to understand that a combination of these warning signs could indicate a problem with your teen and that early detention of these signs could help you get your teen the help she/he needs.

The battle of the sexes rages on. Or at the very least, a deep sense on both sides of “grrr, what are they thinking!?!” Well we are here to address one of side at least with this question: How do men think, and how can I use this to my advantage?

womens-picture_15

Visual Creatures

To begin, men are visual creatures. Primarily men think in pictures (one of the reason they make such good film directors). This lends itself well to areas like advertising. The real trick is being able to translate this into your own relationships. Does this mean that to gain any man’s attention you have to be the sexy model draped over a sports car? No. It simply means putting in a little bit of work to keep his eyes on you–and repetition doesn’t hurt either. It can take a little bit of time for the message to click.

In a physical relationship, this could mean giving him time to notice new jeans, or a new haircut.

This could also mean starting your foreplay with something a little unorthodox for some people. Leaving the lights on. This gives the man a chance to “drink it all in” and fully enjoy the sight of his woman. This will ensure more attention and satisfaction for both of you. It wouldn’t hurt to invest in some appealing lingerie if you haven’t already. The mystery of what still remains covered will make him hungry for more.

Bottom line: Men are turned on sexually by what they see more so than touch or scent, so plan accordingly. Maybe shell out the big bucks for new lingerie instead of fancy candles or incense.

Spaghetti versus File Cabinet

This theory finds its origin in how the different genders organize their thoughts/experiences/emotions. It states that men do what is called compartmentalizing: they organize their minds into separate categories or boxes. Women on the other hand, allow the varying aspects of their lives to interconnect and weave together like a plate of spaghetti noodles. Understanding this process will help communication and expectations immensely. It’s simple. When telling your man about your day, try and separate events with landmarks. “The morning as a drag until I got coffee, then I had lunch with Suzy. After lunch I….” By using words like until and after, your man’s brain is more easily able to separate events and is more likely to listen to your daily stories. This may sound condescending or far too simple, but these little changers in daily communication will help tremendously.  womens-picture_14

It also helps to simply keep in mind that men have to take some time “sorting through the boxes” to retrieve certain information. Depending on the man (and the season) the new football stats might be easier to find than the box marked “holidays with in-laws”. Patience will help here. Take time to remind him of important events, as the information will often be filed away quickly.

All of these tips may seem simple, but with a little insight into the mind of man, they will help in any relationship.

Building a relationship with your son takes both time and hard work on your part as the parent. These bonds can help your relationship last and survive through all the bickering and fighting of teenage rebellion and the separation that comes with adulthood.  Here are some ways to form such a lifetime bond with your son.

Spend the Time

womens-picture_48The main thing you can do to forge a bond with your son is spend time together.  Taking time away from your busy schedule on a regular basis to spend one-on-one time with your son is the best way to get to know him.  It is not so much about what you do together.  Instead, it is about just spending some time together.  You can watch sports, play catch, have a pizza party and work on a jigsaw puzzle.  This regular time together illustrates to your son that he is important as a person and that he with worth your time and effort.  As you spend this time together, you will get to know each other as people and not just as parent and child.

Don’t Just Lecture and Criticize

It can be hard sometimes to remember to take the time out to do more than correct, criticize and lecture your son.  All these talks are negative in nature, and there are only some many lectures your son will be able to listen to before he shuts you out and stops telling you about his life.  If every time you get together with your son you take the opportunity to point out what is wrong or how he can do better in school or with his behavior, it will fail to be a pleasant memory for your son.  Instead, make sure to spend your bonding time together when you aren’t mad or feeling critical.  To take this idea a step further, you can be sure to point out positive things to your son about his behavior, accomplishments or goals.  Even if you just tell your son how proud you are, how happy you are to have him in your life and how much you love him, these comments can go a long way to building his self-esteem and creating a loving bond.

Joint Adventureswomens-picture_03

Doing activities together creates a bond with your son that will come from these memories. These activities can encompass a number of things from working together on a joint project such as repairing the car or working in the yard to playing a board game or shooting some hoops.  It is also important sometimes to get out of the house and go on outings and experience something new together.  You need not spend a ton of money for a new experience.   Simply going fishing or taking a short daytrip to a nearby park or attraction can be an adventure.  A useful tip is to try to do an activity that your son suggests. Showing an interest in what your son considers important or of value can go a long way towards helping your son feel special.  These feelings of support and love will strengthen your bond.

Rekindling the fire in a marriage can be hard work, but it won’t cost as much as a divorce, and children will learn valuable lessons from reunited parents, who worked out their differences, instead of divorced and bitter ones. I think you would prefer to be united and better and not divorced and bitter.

Now that we have cleared the first hurdle, let’s look at the things couples can do to improve and strengthen their marriage.

Better Communication

Think about what caused disagreements and find ways to overcome the differences. Some compromise is good and it also helps when couples think about how valuable the relationship is to them. It makes them want to do more to protect it, and work towards fixing the problems, so that the feelings of anger and resentment can be erased. This will lead to the return of intimacy and romance in the marriage.

Better communication can also lead to a better sexual relationship and more satisfaction for each partner.

Show Appreciation

fiery marriage
Some time away could bring the fire back to your marriage

It is so easy for couples to take each other for granted, after they have spent a number of years together!

They stop using the little words that means a lot in their conversations, like “please” and ” thank you” . But words are very important, they can tear a relationship down or they can build it up.

So couples can start showing appreciation for the little things they took for granted before. Even though this might seem like a small gesture, it will make a big difference and soon you will find that partners will be doing more for each other and their love will grow.

Spending Quality Time Together

It is very easy to forget about the importance of spending time together because of all the bills we need to pay and taking care of the children’s needs.

But couples will find it easier to take care of their bills and other responsibilities when they spend time talking about their issues. They can sometimes find new ways to earn, and this can reduce the stress they face when they try to do things all by themselves.

Couples will also learn more about each other’s likes and dislikes and they will end up living in harmony, as they will be able to please each other more.

Dating Again

Words are very important, they can tear a relationship down or they can build it up.

It is good to start doing the same things you did at the beginning of the relationship again.

When this is done, you’ll find it easy to rekindle the passion you once shared, because of the great memories you had made before.  This will cause lovers to remember why they decided to get married in the first place, and they will even be creating new memories, so they will end up forgetting about divorce.

Soon the misunderstandings and the hurt can be swept away and life will be beautiful again as couples will realize that it is much better for them to enjoy each other’s company, then to tear each other down. As so much more can be achieved when relationships are doing well and great plans can be made for the future.

Having Fun Together:

It is easy to live a dull life, just working, paying bills, watching the television.

But when couples play games together, this will help them to have fun and they won’t end up seeing each other as a burden. After couples decide on which game they both like to play, they should find a way to fit this activity into their schedule and start playing together, or even with the children.

Some outdoor activity will be good for their physical health and if they start playing board games, this activity will be good for their mental health and they will have a lot more to smile about.

Soon ‘the spark’ will return and an ‘on fire’ marriage with happiness and joy will start to bloom once again.

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